..........

I've changed alot in the last 8 months. I'm growing into an amazing young women who has a world of opportunities. for years I've lived my life for others, and today i can say i live my life for me. i do what i love and the rest will follow. the only thing i have to do is get up, get up early and do something, anything. make everyday worth something. throughout my life many people have come and left. people have left footprints in my heart and don't know it, and people have crushed my soul and did it intentionally. and i thank everyone for whoever they were at whatever point i my life, they shaped me into who i am today. i try to look at everyone as a teacher, i have so much to learn.. and i do so by asking questions and watching others. i am only 22 but i have been through more than most people have been in a lifetime. it could be so much easier to shut the world out, let go, run away, never trust.. but that's not an option in my life today. i wake up every morning and i fight for happiness.. i force myself to love and trust, and i don't run from anything i dive right into it. no one is every going to hand me anything in life. i have to work my little butt off and get what i want. just as long as i continue to do something and smile life will all that i want it to be. i used to worry about getting married, what i would become in life, who would stay my friend. why? who knows what tomorrow will bring, i may or may not even wake up. i didn't know last year that the people who are here for me today even existed. i didn't know 4 months ago that the one guy i thought would never let me down would do just that. but its an amazing feeling to know that i put my whole entire heart into a guy, trusted him with my world, and gave him the opportunity to break my heart.. the thought of loosing him scared me, but i took a chance. and in the end, yes i was let down, but no i wasn't hurt. I'm still smiling, i still trust, and i can name a million positive things i gained from my experience. through that one experience i can physically see how much i have grown, and how far i have come. expect nothing life, keep your expectations low and you wont get hurt. life as i know it today is good, and as long as i always put me first it will stay that way.

impossible

everyone has a "plan" .. weather its be married by 30, have a brand new car by 20, finish school and have a career by 24 .. blah blah blah - let it go. because I have news for you NOTHING goes as you plan. Things change everyday, you never know who you will meet, what opportunity will be presented at your feet.. thoughts change, people change, places change. The only constant in life is change. It's the only thing in life you can depend on, because everything changes. Think back a couple years and look at who you were, now look at who you are. Theres a change, there are things that have happened in everyones life that you never imagined, there are "plans" that haven't been fulfilled yet. So let it all go, take a deep breath, and just breath. Be happy with what you have today and forget tomorrow. Let life happen, just lived each day like its your last.

laugh.love.create

The 3 things I need to do daily to be happy. Laugh whenever I can, love as much as possible, and create something new everyday. My strength has been tested more than a few times this last week. What got me through it was laughing, laughing as much as I could. Looking at all the love that surrounds me. From family, friends, customers, strangers. Not judging anyone or any situation and always wear a smile weather its forced or genuine. And create. It could be found in doing someones hair and they LOVE it, making a new drink to fit someones request, writing, reading, forming and building new relationships. If i do those 3 things everyday.. I will always be happy. Happiness comes from within, it doesn't come from a certain person or even a place.. its comes from you. No body can make you happy, or unhappy.. you allow their actions to make you feel that way. Only you can control your feelings, and you can't have a feeling without a thought first. So control your mind, and keep it focused on the good things in life. Think positive. In every situation so matter how terrible it seems, there is always a positive to be taken from it.. so find it, hold on to it, and never let it go. Find what makes you happy and run with it. Weather its a simple cup of coffee in the morning or good song in the car. Its a big world out there, but its up to you to make it or break it.

courage

COURAGE - one word, big concept. I believe that besides love, courage is the one thing you need to make it through life. and the only way to gain courage is to over come your fears. Courage will get you through the best of times and the worst of times. Courage is having faith that everything is going to be ok, even though you are scared. When you struggling is exactly when you learn that you have all the courage and strength you need to get through. if I ever loose sight, and the world feels like its going to end, I look at the amazing women in my life. I think to myself.. how did my mother get to where she is today. My answer.. courage.

a beautiful set of wings.

I went to pick up my friend from work last night, and the song 123 like a bird I sing by Tim McGraw came on. There was one part in the song that really stood out to me.. "If I aint got nothing I got nothing to hold me back." - not that I don't have anything, but I don't have anything to hold me back. From all my experiences in life good and bad I've developed this beautiful set of wings and I am able to fly and do whatever my little heart desires. There are no limitations to where I can go and what I can do. I recently thought for a brief moment, that my "something great" was happening.. and it defiantly was something great, but not the something I've been waiting for. I believe you can have and do anything you really want in life if you put your mind to it. I believe that EVERYTHING happens for a reason. And I believe that whats meant to be will find away. Its a day at a time. Tomorrow isn't promised, only hoped for. Yesterday is done, let it go. Live for today and love every chance you can. And most importantly when you're given the chance to fly, spread your wings and jump.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Shv82kPLgQ

fear

I used to be so consumed by fear it controlled my life, than once I figured out that concept I was afraid to feel fear, and now I am thankful for it. Fear means being scared of the unknown, the unfamiliar. Wether its to get hurt of love again.. I learned u don't run, u dive in head first. Afraid of heights.. Climb a ladder. Try to over come ur fears. Like Eleanor Roosevelt said 'do one thing everyday that's scares u.' Or like I choose to say, don't knock it till u try it. After uve challenged ur fears u will no longer be afraid, and weather the outcome be positive ur negative u can now have an oipinion, stand up to it or for it, and stop running. Fear can make u or break you.. Don't let it control u, control it !

September 8, 2010.. 12:41 am

Ok.. so this is new to me. :) I am currently in the process of building my social network as a requirement for an application I am submitting with a color line that I use.. Its called Spread the Love. My goal is to obtain the opportunity to travel the country for 6 months and learn as much as I can about the cosmetology industry. If you ask anyone around me they will tell you that I stand by the statement everything happens for a reason.. and I think this is the start of something great. Through here I can express my positive thoughts and quirky ideas, and hopefully it will reach the right person, and great things will follow.. wish me luck ;)