Thursday, October 14, 2010

..........

I've changed alot in the last 8 months. I'm growing into an amazing young women who has a world of opportunities. for years I've lived my life for others, and today i can say i live my life for me. i do what i love and the rest will follow. the only thing i have to do is get up, get up early and do something, anything. make everyday worth something. throughout my life many people have come and left. people have left footprints in my heart and don't know it, and people have crushed my soul and did it intentionally. and i thank everyone for whoever they were at whatever point i my life, they shaped me into who i am today. i try to look at everyone as a teacher, i have so much to learn.. and i do so by asking questions and watching others. i am only 22 but i have been through more than most people have been in a lifetime. it could be so much easier to shut the world out, let go, run away, never trust.. but that's not an option in my life today. i wake up every morning and i fight for happiness.. i force myself to love and trust, and i don't run from anything i dive right into it. no one is every going to hand me anything in life. i have to work my little butt off and get what i want. just as long as i continue to do something and smile life will all that i want it to be. i used to worry about getting married, what i would become in life, who would stay my friend. why? who knows what tomorrow will bring, i may or may not even wake up. i didn't know last year that the people who are here for me today even existed. i didn't know 4 months ago that the one guy i thought would never let me down would do just that. but its an amazing feeling to know that i put my whole entire heart into a guy, trusted him with my world, and gave him the opportunity to break my heart.. the thought of loosing him scared me, but i took a chance. and in the end, yes i was let down, but no i wasn't hurt. I'm still smiling, i still trust, and i can name a million positive things i gained from my experience. through that one experience i can physically see how much i have grown, and how far i have come. expect nothing life, keep your expectations low and you wont get hurt. life as i know it today is good, and as long as i always put me first it will stay that way.